Rok's Bottom Line
Hello Metal Mercenaries! Hope things have been going good for everyone. The band just returned to our home base after a triumphant week long mini tour of the Midwest . The "Backseats of America 08" tour included dates in Cleveland, Indianapolis, Chicago, Detroit, and concluded in St. Joseph's Michigan on Saturday. Of the thousands that we entertained at the shows on stage, and the tens of ladies we "entertained" after the shows in our hotel rooms (that is each I must add, not a cumulative band total), I must say that the St. Joseph's show at Czar's has to rank up there with some of the most memorable experiences in my 30 plus years of pubic service (no that is not a typo either!!) to metal mayhem.
I want to thank all the loyal Metalicious Mafia that came out to the shows and who dressed in full 80s metal attire to add to the mystique of the Metalicious live experience. Hell, something tells me some in attendance probably weren't in character and just look that way. If that is the case, like Accept says, "God Bless Ya!!". It was apparent that the new songs went over well, that Starlos is fitting in well, and that Metalicious fever is spreading more than the gymnast I met after the Detroit
- $ 289 – amount spent by Nick Spiro for wardrobe
- 107 – the number of Bud Lites consumed by Sissi
- 7 – the menu number of the "Fiesta Plate" ordered by Dane at the Pepe's in
- 18 – shots of Patron ordered by band at Pepe's
- 34– amount of times Rok screwed up lyrics to various songs
- 576 – miles put on the Tour Astrovan
- 7 – miles per gallon of Tour Astrovan
- 36 – condoms used by band (note: that is three packs of 12, or four times nine)
- 13 – times the line, "Its OK, I'm fixed" was heard
- 242 – the number of the designated "sex room" at Silver Beach Hotel in St. Joe
- 47 – pages read by Cleetus of "the Idiots Guide to Tantric"
- 2 – minutes lasted by Cleetus during brief encounter after the
- 147 – Marlboro Lights smoked by Starlos
- 147 – Marlboro Lights smoked by Starlos after sex
- 16 – new English words learned by Dane. Words include "burrito, suizo, magnum, tantric, and tea bag"..
- 1 – arrest (actually an attempted arrest but a cooperative groupie helped Rok elude a mid show incarceration by offering her "services" and persuading the cop to change his mind). Actually, I believe her lips were "pursed" so maybe we should call it "purse-suaded".
- 6 – visits to Big Boys for the famous All You Can Eat Brunch Buffet
- 36 – visits to restroom approximately one hour after Big Boys (6 times 6)
On a final note, I just want to say hello to the lady I'll call "Madge" who had the nerve to interrupt a tender moment I was having with a couple lovely females after the St. Joe show in my hotel room. Apparently she was a bit miffed because of the rather loud shenanigans going on in my room which happened to be next to hers. She informed me that her, husband, and her two nine year old twins happened to have a big day the next day with a soccer tournament and that she couldn't sleep. The intriguing deal of it all was that it really wasn't the noise that was keeping her up, but the curiosity, as her kids and husband both were sound asleep. Well, like State Farm Insurance, I am a good neighbor, and invited the lady to come in and partake of a midnight snack. Needless to say, about an hour later she returned to her room to a peaceful sleep. I'll bet during her sons' soccer match she'll be thinking dirty thoughts when she hears the word "score". And by the way, being an avid soccer fan and league player in my summer home in Madrid
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